Fight parked motorcycle syndrome today!

It’s the last day before Thanksgiving, so chances are good that parked motorcycle syndrome might not even be on your radar. (I mean, it’s not exactly pie, is it?)

But after you’ve eaten your fill and you’re lounging around sleepily in your comfiest clothes, a motorcyclist’s thoughts usually return to All Things Bike.

Maybe you have big plans for moto-vated #BlackFriday shopping. Or maybe MAG filing for Chapter 11 is on your mind, and you’ve already been busy stocking up on crazy closeout items at Motorcycle Superstore.

No matter where you’re at right now, the fact is this: When you come out of that pie coma, you’re going to have to face your PMS.

Parked motorcycle syndrome is no joke


Monitor yourself and any loved ones who also ride for the following:

  • Sudden, unexplained onset of perpetual crankiness
  • Inexplicable tears forming every time you look in the direction of your bike
  • Irritability that intensifies every time you have to drive somewhere (instead of riding)

Sadly, motorcyclists who live in areas where winter is a fact of life must fight our way through all these symptoms annually.

There’s good news, though! Although nothing is truly a substitute for getting out on two wheels, you can do several things to make winter much more agreeable. Here are the top 5 ways you can successfully battle PMS.

1. Bring your bike inside

Parked motorcycle syndrome isn't as bad when you bring your bike inside

At best, you can get some projects done (see the second item on this list). At worst, you have a lovely bit of moto sculpture taking up space in your home. Where’s the down side?

2. Plan moto projects to accomplish over the winter

Bart Simpson congratulates a guy dressed like a hex wrench on his costume

Carb rebuild? That front-end swap you’ve been eyeing? A complete upgrade of your brakes? Now is the time to take everything apart. Knowing you can’t ride for a decent length of time will ensure that you don’t rush when you’re putting things back together.

3. Do all that bike-related reading you’ve been putting off

Read up with Captain Picard
Every readable resource from your bike’s shop manual to your favorite enthusiast forum is just waiting for you to give it some attention. Remember all those times you said you’d do it later?

It’s later. Do it.

4. Take stock of your gear and repair, replace, or upgrade as necessary

A melon, while cute on a cat, is not an acceptable moto helmet
Is your helmet a little too big? Then it’s not protecting you properly. If you’re in doubt, do a helmet check to know for sure.

Are your gloves wearing through in the palm? Time to scout out the sales and find yourself a new pair (or more, if you’re shopping for multiple weather situations).

5. Do any routine annual maintenance that you haven’t already done

Homer Simpson is changing his car oil. Oh boy.

Maintenance liquids like engine oil, coolant, and brake fluid all need regular service. Check your bike’s shop manual for model-specific details. You need to inspect other wear items like brake pads regularly, as well.

TL;DR: Winter is a great time for annual bike maintenance. That way, your ride is all ready to go when spring rolls around (or if there’s a sudden week of unseasonably warm weather in January).

When you’re off your bike for a long time, what moto-related things do you like to do? Let me know in the comments!

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